It calls for patience, Not rushing (Marriage in my tribe, Ng'ikarimojong)

How a couple in Karamoja can pose during a traditional marriage ceremony (with some modernity)

What is this that has a very long process in your tribe or community you live in culturally or that follows several norms, cultures, and beliefs with several steps that control the lifestyle of a given community or tribe in a country or given region in the world you live in but then brings joy in a long run?!

As a young man with the blood of a Karimojong running in my veins and who has grown up on the outskirts of Nagule'angolol village in Nawaikorot parish, Ngoleriet sub-county in Napak district which is in the Karamoja region, I have lived to watch and see through my tribe's heritage and culture which has always held me together and made me cherish my tribe with one heart and soul clinging in it with passion and love. A lot of people have always misunderstood my tribe's marriage culture and norms, this writing allows me to put light on the marriage culture and norms followed to marry in my culture about what is being said by the different people in the world.  

First and foremost marriage is looked at as a very important and paramount aspect of life in a life cycle of a human being and as so, it is seen as one of the unifying factors among the different clusters of the Ng'ikarimojong tribe in the Karamoja region as a whole. In my tribe, marriage is not just a matter of getting a woman or man by a man or woman respectively but a process that may even take several years without taking place and is culturally driven that carries a very big meaning among the two people who at the end will stay together. This aspect of life begins with a girl growing up fully in a given village or household with her parents and even undergoes three cycles in her growth process to a full woman in the future which means she must have reached a minimum of 19 years and above. 

A young man may then see this young lady at a water source drawing water, carrying water back home, fetching firewood, or carrying it home from the bush. This young man will then follow and monitor where this lady will go until she enters a given family through a gate "depending" leading to the household she lives in. This young man will then monitor the young beautiful lady her leaving and coming back home to find ways of meeting her if he admires her, in this, the young man will then wait for this lady at a water source since he already knows the time, the day and the water source the beautiful lady draws water from to then begin the process of introducing himself as the intending man to go into a courtship with her. This man will then ask this lady to fetch her drinking water or give him some tobacco to snap "Etaba" which if she gives shows that she is ready and willing to be talked to by this man, in this process the lady will then ask the man to help her put the pot of water on her head then move together while making jokes on the way to the lady's parents home and this means the lady as allowed him to know their home making it easy for him to visit her in days to come. The man will then continue to come over to the lady's parents' home by calling her at the gate to see and talk to her and all these will be happening in the knowledge of the young man and young lady with no one's knowledge about it for over one or two years. The boy will then inform the father of what is going on between him and the young lady after knowing her name and parents to ascertain instances of being related or not and to get advice from the father in this process the mother of the boy doesn't know about this while the girl informs the mother who then will inform the father to the girl who okays if he is fine with it but if he refuses, everything stops right there or if anything comes out that they are related, the process of marriage stops and they become best friends. But if the father of the boy okays the process to continue all will be well. After okaying by their parents, the girl will then construct the hurt behind her parent's huts in the back yard which they will be using before they officially married, the two will then inform their friends and the boy may start sleeping over with the young lady's parents' place and will sleep in a hut built in the back yard with this man and this doesn't mean they will sleep as man and woman, they will be sleeping together as friends. Once the whole matter is okayed, the boy's father will then visit the father of the girl to discuss further processes concerning the bride price with or without the knowledge of the young man and girl intending to marry. The boy's father will then inform the boy of the next step to take and if it is full marriage, the boy's mother will then visit the mother of the girl to find out when they should come over to her home to build a hut for the young couple soon to marry hence preparing them to have their own hut to sleep in. the day is then set for the marriage to take place and this processes by the time it reaches here must have taken 2 to even 4 years and a ceremony is organized where the man and his friends will bring animals as bride price in exchange for the young lady which is paid to all the relatives of the lady ranging from the youngest sibling to the aunty or grandmother or father of the father if alive and once the bride price is paid, the lady is taken to the man's village and will never come back their family again in case they divorced but only if the parents pay back the bride price. 

You need to look at what accompanies this ceremony. This is a ceremony to show happiness and it is associated with cultural dances by the friends of the couple both the lady and the man. there is drinking (local brew), eating, and dancing with very nice songs that entice the ceremony and make it colorful with the different people putting in their cultural attire.

All these that we read up entail what it is to marry because to my idea and to my own tribe, marriage is happiness, unity, love, peace, and a source of wealth as well. 

Every young Karamojong man or lady is always on their toes to ensure they marry to ensure they as well go through such a cultural ceremony.